last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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