is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
