absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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