i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
