omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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