Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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