Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
