Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i love accidental penises.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
high people should be assigned attendants
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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