Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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