what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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