So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
