Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
