Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
