Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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