She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
