I accidentally had phone sex last night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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