No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
