Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
