then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
