You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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