he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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