Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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