i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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