i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
