I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Randomize
