dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
