I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
