Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize