I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
