I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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