PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
