fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
