i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
