I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
