There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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