i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
