All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
