My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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