My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You can't motorboat a personality
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
