i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
