sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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