Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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