I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
