someone owes me an orgasm
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
