last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
A bitchslap is in order.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
