He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
