dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
