Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
