he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
