the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Randomize
