Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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