ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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