so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Your cock deserves a montage
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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