I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
