I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
