I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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