I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
