i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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