Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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