The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
