Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
